First paper gone today. I don't know how to feel. It's as though I knew how to do it but the yapping voices in my head just kept telling me it's no use. And what's the point anyway? Why should I be successful? Why do I need to get good grades for As? Why do I need to live a good life, or even live?

Math tuition was just over and Mr Sim just told me to have faith. The moment he stepped out of my house I broke down. Have faith in what? My abilities? The fact that I may or may not even do well? I don't even see a point in doing well anymore.

I've been living for others. Wanting to get good grades cause I owe it to my parents, my family, my teachers and friends who put in the effort to guide me and encourage me. Wanting to do good for others just because I think they're worth the effort. Smiling because I know the people around me would notice if I didn't. Breathing because I owe it to my parents who gave me life.

And fact is, who am i? I'm just a speck in the world, i'm no Nelson Mandela nor Mother Teresa, and so what if i made a difference? I have no bloody motivation and nothing to fight for.

Because who am I to think that I'm important?