Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
 

Yeah so it's 2:07AM in the morning and i'm having one of those nights again. One of those nights where i'd just sit down and think, reflect and gather my feelings. And everything'd just come back to me at these points in time. So right now, i'm just replaying scenes from the past, replaying the good memories, replaying the things people said to me - be it criticism, feedback or just normal conversations. Oh and don't get me wrong - i may have these extremely insecure moments where everything starts crashing down, but it doesn't mean i'm weak or that i'm always like this. Let's just say when i don't need to be confident, i choose not to be.

I'd bet that most people who doesn't really know me doesn't have a good impression of me, especially because of the way i acted in the past, or the way i'm just different. Thing is, i'm getting two different kinds of responses to it. One group tells me to be who i am and just saty true to myself, that not everyone matters / should matter as much. Another tells me that i should correct my flaws and work on my mistakes. I'm just trying to find a balance with that now and it's terribly difficult cause as much as i want to not care, i can't. But by caring about how i may make others unhappy or annoyed or anything - i get so overwhelmed with the pressure to be better, the pressure to keep up with expectations of everyone, including myself. And it really gets tiring. It just hurts when people misunderstand or just setting up a certain idea of my character / personality. I may not seem like i mean what i say at times and i admit that. But it doesn't make me a hypocrite. I honestly don't say something and do another, and i really don't know, i just get so sad when people who don't know me, or even worse, people who supposedly know me best, start to judge and form bad impressions of me without even finding out or truly understanding what's going on. I'm not saying i'm sinless or that i don't make mistakes; fact is that i do, i make a ton of mistakes and i've porbably brought this upon myself with my past mistakes. I'm doing my best to change and be a better person but i guess i just can't please the whole world. And to me, that sucks. But whatever it is, i'll do my best and just believe that my faith and my perseverance will pay off.

 

只是我一个人 / 一个人不可能 / 不可能有多快乐 / 我承认
从前是两个人 / 两个人多认真 / 一年后却像两个陌生人

Everyone but you. Everyone's been caring and/or talking to me. Okay, everyone is an overstatement but truly, though it's been quite awhile, not having you as a strong pillar in my life just makes me feel empty. I know all this's probably happening cause i do my best not to disturb your busy life, your busy schedule, and i don't really take the initiative to start conversations anymore. To be honest, i just feel as though being my friend isn't something you're proud of. Argh i don't know why i'm constantly feeling this way. But for now i'm just feeling as though this wouldn't have lasted anyway, and that i'm glad i had more time to get used to this, to start letting go of this friendship's that's been a huge part of my life for the past year. It wouldn't have lasted, isn't it?

Okay enough of this nonsense, it's the night-overthinking-germ that's getitng to me. :/
Goodnight and i'll be a happier person when i wake up.

It's kind of stupid, but i missed the feeling of liking someone. It's as though i had something to hold on to, no matter what.

Oh hello civilisation / world / aliens / people / pets / animals........................
Okay here's the catch: PROMOS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm just so hyped now hahahaha just watched Glee and my daily dose of Poetic Justice and i'm savouring every bit of freedom i have now :) K bye, more movie-watching time!!

Oh and that photo up there.. I just found it meaningful :)

Tribute; A Man Like No Other

It's been 2 days, and i'm starting to feel the need to write (or type, in this case), to find peace and to find closure. This post is dedicated to one of the strongest and bravest person i've ever known, and i'm really hoping he's in a safer and painless place now.

Though i'd not had the fortune nor opportunity to be a good friend to him, he had always been in the vicinity, igniting laughters and joy in his former classes (Helea and Deja Vu), both of which had been just next to my former classes. He was truly a ray of sunshine, giving in his all for his friendships and being a true brother to many of the guys in our level. I've had only snippets of memories of him, but i guess the one that got etched the deepest was one during a badminton training that i sort of chanced upon. He was (and would probably always be) a source of motivation and support to his teammates, and he was an incredible sportsman in skill, in spirit and in determination.

We often lament and complain that life isn't fair, and it really isn't. Getting diagnosed with cancer in Year 4, the restrictions and pain being put onto his life must've been unbearable. Chemo and treatment disrupted his academics, his love for sports and he was seen less along the corridors. Yet, he held on to his unyielding, fighting spirit, and continued to give in his all despite everything. His determination and strength was truly respectable, from the start of it all.

I guess as time passes, we start to take things for granted, believing in the notion that "everything will be alright in the end". He was better, and though it was obvious that he struggled through the demons of the disease, he returned to school and entered Senior High with us, as a family. Seeing him back in school with his tired but contagious and genuine grin, i guess many of us took for granted and believed that he'd have conquered the illness. Belief was good, but seeing all the guilt and the regret from many of us, it struck me on how much we took for granted in life. My heart aches for his family and his closest friends, on the endless desires to say a proper goodbye, and on the fact that we all lost a friend - one whom left behind a true legacy.

So Ervin, here's to you. Here's to your strength, your courage, your sincerity. Here's to being a true man, a true hero who chose not to give up despite all that's been unfairly put in your path. And here's to your abbreviated but meaningful journey which had impacted us all. It's truly more than words could ever say... Thank you so much for showing us what it means to be a true warrior, a true fighter and a true man.

I truly hope that you're safe and rested, wherever you may be. You are loved, respected and dearly missed. May we meet again, someday, somehow.

Truly a blessing to all of us.
200495 - 180912, but remembered and cherished for eternity.

--

Ephesians 1:16 (ESV)
I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.

& to his family, his closest buddies and classmates; stay strong, and live well without regrets. May you all be blessed by him and the Angels with good health and happiness..

HIATUS

Till 26th Sept!

Hey hahaha. Haven't been posting for these two days though i've got some drafts! Basically there was dinner @ food for thought with galen babes, sending Nabi off at the airport etc. Will post in more detail when i'm back from hiatus hahah!

Haven't been getting really great grades (ooh punny) and yeah i've really gotta put in my all, regardless of how disappointed it am. I've come so far and persevered so long, I ain't ever gonna give up no matter what; disappointments and undeserving bad grades will only make me more determined to work harder, faster, stronger. :)

J I A Y O U everyone, it's gonna be over soon! Be it Os, promos, prelims, 'A's, PSLE, etc!! And to the Y6s taking 'A's in 49 days time, all the best and keep calm! Y'all can do it as long as yall stay true to yourself, and your efforts :)

Gonna be on hiatus till H1 Bio ends on the 26th! Goodbye and goodluck till then!!
加油! すべてのベスト! Vše Nejlepší! Tout le Meilleur! alles Gute! ทั้งหมดที่ดีที่สุด!

BYE :)

05. A random funny story.
Hahahahaha sorry i don't really have funny stories to tell...or to type, for that matter. Actually funny stories are better to be told, not read ^^ So yeah here's Patrick Star's rendition of a funny story LOL:

K bye, off to do workkkkkkk.

Sometimes we fall down, can't get, back up / We're hiding behind skin that's too tough

Heading over to Bugis to meet Isaac now sigh I'm sooooo late :( And I realize I've been at Tampines every single day this week..... But okay I'm grateful that I live near here :) So liveable and vibrant in its own suburban way haha like a mini orchard road :) Gonna do bio + econs today, hope I'll be able to finish most of the content subjs so I can focus on one topic a day for math from Monday onwards.. I really need it :(

J I A Y O U everyone, it's gonna be over real soon!!! And as always, crossing fingers that my efforts will pay off. Can't bear anymore disappointments :(

03. Worst injury you got, and how you got it.
Hmm. Actually none of my injuries are really bad or anything, but there are 3 that are quite epic and serious in its own way i guess.
First is when i was much younger and loved to swing on the monkey bars.. Fell down from it and fractured my right elbow LOL. According to my grandma i was quite tolerant and didn't cry, just that on the car ride home, i was exceptionally quiet and apparently my face was really turning into a shade of green or something. Hahaha can always remember my grandma's face when she "tells the story" :)
Second would be a major cut while falling down on a trekking trip in the Lower MacRitchie Reservoir.. It was bleeding quite badly and the gash was quite deep. Worst part of it was that my mom mistook an alcohol swab for antiseptic wipes............so yeah you can imagine how amazing the feeling of a deep cut + alcohol was LOL.
Mmm third would be the uprooting of my big left toe's toenail.. Was at piano class and accidentally slammed the huge heavy door on my toe. Had actually thought it was a bruise or sth at first (cause it felt like it) till Sarah told me to look down at my toe and voila, a big bloody mess with my whole toenail uprooted and hanging in midair. Gross eh. My mom has been using this example of my tolerance for pain ever since -_-

04. The most heartbroken you have been, tell the story.
*ponders* I've only had 3 people that i truly liked (for a longer period of time, that is), 2 of whom i believe i'd loved. It's not easy to say when i've been the most heartbroken but i guess it builds up over the years and if the memories held a substantial place in my heart(?) Ahahaha shucks idk what i'm saying. Okay nvm i shall stick to the non-conventional answer; i believe the most heartbroken / heart wrenching moments are when my parents wrong me and refuse to hear me out or consider my predicament / reasons. To me, the most important people in my life are my family members cause despite anything, they're there for me in one way or another, never failing to either support me or make me happy again. There are undoubtedly times of stress and angst but at the end of the day they're really the ones who love me a lot, as do i, to them. So yeah, their opinions, encouragement, words and actions influence me the most, and i must say that whenever they get irrational and angst, i get extremely upset and heartbroken as well. It's the kind of feeling where you get wronged or mistrusted by the closest people to you whom are supposed to know you best.

--

Quite a good day today :) Met up with Nabi and Mich for breakfast at Saffron and omaiiii their prata is gooooood. Go check it out if you're a prata fan :) Haha so yep, talked and talked and haha it was a good catch up.. Gonna miss herrrrrr and everyone she intro-ed me to.. W/o her i wouldn't have gotten to know all the Caroling people, Evokx and TT.. :') Hahaha her mom came thereafter and it was really cute seeing her whine to her momma and seeing her momma suan her back and stuff! Mich was uber cute as usual hahaha i missed both of them so much :( Can't wait for Sunday morning with Nabi's overwhelming entourage at the airport HHAHA i may just choose to do up a banner or sth ^^

Went home to practice piano and have lunch + spend time with family before i headed out for piano lesson and study session with JZ thereafter. He was late though -_- Met Deon while printing photos and hahaha i actually got a shock lolol i looked up and he was just standing there eating his coffee bun and looking at me HAHAHA. So yeah went to study with him @ McCafe till JZ came! So yeah turts reached tampz and we ate dinz at Ajisen heh mai favourite seafood ramen and TEEHEE i had free dinner :D ok i felt bad and tried to pay him but noooooooo, he didn't accept ohwell THANKS FOR DINNER, IF YOU'RE READING THIS!!!!  Was so full so we decided against going to bux to study so we went McCafe instead (and no, D wasn't there anymore hahaha). Wasn't as productive as the past few days though hahahaha that stupid awkward turtle kept making me laugh and get distracted. But yeah, managed to finish up 3 chapters of econs anyway hehe! Headed home and it was the most productive night that i've had in weeks, finished up the elaborate geog sketch and EOM along w the 3 chapters i completed before that :) Productive efficiency makes me happy HAHAHAHAH.

Mmm gonna study with Isaac later, after much of his incessant nagging that he needs someone to study with #lesigh. Ooh and 3 hours of econs also hahaha. Think Mr G Lee is having 11 hours of lesson straight today :( Hope he takes care of himself haizzzz really Superman haha i salute him :)

OKIE DOK GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY. Sleep tight :) xx

01. Tell about the best day of your life.
I've got loads of good days and i don't think i can precisely pin-point which is the best day so i shall just tweak it a lil to make it "one of the most memorable days" instead. It's gonna sound really childish but i think the few best days were 7th - 8th of July last year, in the Gaga showcase period. I may have gotten over him but the memories stay, and i believe it'll stay with me for life. Being kind of a hopeless romantic, those two nights really reflected what i wanted in a relationship - simple and sweet. 可能是我自作多情, but i truly felt blessed and happy at that moment of time from the little actions and gestures that made me feel like i'm cared and cherished. From walking around, to the cab ride and the mrt, i remember how i had this fluttery feeling inside of me:) Whatever it is, i'm over it - but i guess it'll really be two nights that i wouldn't forget, ever.

Another would be my birthday this year, where two of my best friends came to my house in the morning to surprise me, slabbing whipped cream onto my face HAHA. Tbh i was feeling kinda down cause i felt i didn't really have anyone to celebrate with despite it being one of the rare times i'm not actually overseas. Was so touched when they came and i guess i wouldn't forget it, ever. (Neither would i ever forget the feeling of having whipped cream being stuffed into my face........)

02. Who has made the biggest impact in your life, and why?
I guess the most "mainstream" answer would be a best friend / parents / family / sibling or whatever, but i have to say in making the biggest impact in my life, it'd have been joining AKLTG in coaching. Being in Dunman High, i guess we're all really v protected and, to a certain extent, oblivious to many things that's happening in "reality". Not that it's a bad thing, but i just feel really blessed to have joined the coaching team in '09. It opened my eyes to many different perspectives, different lifestyles, different people and their different circumstances - be it participants or coaches themselves. By joining the coaching team, i'd learnt so much more about not just how to be a better person; it gave me insights on how others' had so much going in their lives, making me appreciate my own more. It taught me how different individuals would have their own predicaments, their own reasons for doing or saying anything, and that we really shouldn't judge through a mistake or sth. I've grown so much as a person through joining this team and i guess it really has been very impactful to me. These lesssons and realizations may have been internal / implicit and there may really have been some people who aren't as respectable - but i guess the experience matters most.
--
☺
It's been a good day, i guess :) Studied with D again and i've familiarized myself with most of Litho under his challenge hahaha but #challengefailed though, didn't manage to finish much of the TYS. Shall work on it tomorrow. He's like a family friend now and even my grandparents are quite comfortable with him being around. Love friendships like these ha. :) Headed to tamp for dinner + movie and my sis managed to sneak into Imperfect which was NC16. Oh and just to mention, she's 172 at twelve years old W T H right. So naturally she passed the first test of scrutiny hahaha. Imperfect was not bad, the Taiwanese and Hongkong actors were sooooo good, coupled with Edwin and Ian who've really got extremely high potential in this acting circle. They're gonna be so good if they continue on acting :) The show was bloody violent for a local production though... Kinda freaked out at a few parts..

Anyway it's been a long day and my brain's still saturated with Geog :) Shall sleep it off..... ok not off hahaha sleep it in HAHAHA and hope it'll retain in my puny brain. Meeting Nabi, Mich and (hopefully she can make it) Yeemun for breakfast tomorrow!! It's been such a long time and i'm really gonna miss Nabi when she leaves for UK this Sunday. Really wish her the best RCM and beautiful UK could offer her, she's been through alot to get here :)

Okie dok, goodnight and sweetdreams, ttfn (HAHAHAHA #bimbomax) :)

Yes, i'm doing Litho now and ohgaud my brain, my poor little pea brain is dying hahahaha currently slouching and subducting under my dining tableeeee. Maybe i'll melt soon aaaahhhh ok nvm HAHA.

Being challenged by Deon the smartypants94 to complete Litho + TYS by the end of the study session LOL i'm only at volcanoes and i'm really stuffed alrdy :( Just hoping that all this info will be retained till exams (at least) and that my efforts will pay off hahaha. I really need good results this time. OKAY BYE BACK TO GEOG, SHALL BE A CONTINENTAL PLATE AND STAY AFLOAT.

This is gonna be fun HA HA HA. Let's see if i'd sustain. Won't do it one like a consecutive day basis though :) 

 

01. Tell about the best day of your life.

02. Who has made the biggest impact in your life, and why?

03. Worst injury you got, and how you got it.

04. The most heartbroken you have been, tell the story.

05. A random funny story.

06. Where have you traveled?

07. Have you told anyone your deepest secret? If so, what was their reaction?

08. Tell about an adventure you have had.

09. What were you like as a child?

10. The best thing that has ever happened to you?

11. Post a song that you can’t stand.

12. Post a song that you used to love.

13. Post a picture of you smiling.

14. Put 10 things you want to do in the year.

15. 8 reasons to hate you.

16. 7 things you have in your bed.

17. 6 things you can’t live without.

18. A picture of the thing you love the most.

19. A picture of the person you love the most.

20. Pour your heart out in two paragraphs.

21. Your favorite book and why?

22. 5 movies you recommend.

23. 4 ways to win your heart.

24. How you see yourself by the end of your year

25. Do you believe in love at first sight - why?

26. A song that makes you cry.

27. 1 thing you want to do before you die.

28. Favorite type of music.

29. To go to a party or to stay home - why?

30. Give 15 tips to your followers to get through life.

31. The worst thing that has ever happened to you.

31. A picture of the happiest moment of your life - if you don’t have, explain that moment.

32. Are you bored of this challenge? yes no, why?

33. A picture of your family, are you close to them, yes, no?

34. Favorite place on earth.

35. Recommend 5 songs.

36. Recommend 8 books.

37. Recommend 2 websites.

38. Post a picture of you, 3 facts.

39. Introduce your BEST FRIEND(S) & how you guys met.

 

Write a letter too…

40. Your best friend

41. A stranger

42. Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

43. Someone you’ve drifted away from

44. The last person you kissed

 

45. Ten random facts about yourself.

46. Nine things you do every day.

47. Eight things that annoy you.

48. Seven fears/phobias.

49. Five things you can’t live without.

50. Three words you can’t go a day without using.

51. Two things you wish you could do.

52. One person you can trust

53. 3 of your favourite experiences.

54. Four favourite films and why you love them.

55. 10 things (not people) that make you happy.

Loving this song now :) Hehehe :) Anyway i gotta feeling....................to blog haha so i'm here now!!

Busy but productive two days it's been :) Met up with Weishuen on Monday to study in school and hohoho i finished like almost half of the H1 bio topics.. Okay maybe needing a lil more refinement but YES productive hahaha. Good start to the i-have-to-be-productive week :) Studied till about 4 then headed to Nex cause he wanted to get his Gundam LOL can still picture the gleam in his eyes when he beams at his loot :) Original plan was to watch Step Up tgt but ohwell it was kinda late and we were tired too, anyway. So yep that kinda sums up my Monday!

Today was quite productive too ehehe :) Met up with Yiling Ryan and Rachel to complete the Geog essay project (stupid stupid stupid) and yeah we did :) I really enjoy f2f meetings more, online ones are kinda scary cuz if they don't reply you don't know if they didn't see / are annoyed / don't know what to reply ._. So i guess that day they were either busy or in a bad mood haha. Really glad that i'm not a person who begrudges or whatever. Though i forgive people too easily at times - not in this context though. So yep we sorta completed it haha it's an extremely long essay but i hope Chang would mark a lil more leniently or sth :( Needa pull up my geog grades badly :(

Headed to KFC for lunch with Yiling and Ryan thereafter and it was nice i guess :) Stayed for awhile and chatted before i went back to school to mug in one of those 面壁思过 cubicles HAHA. Wasn't really that productive but i finished the driest part of hydrology (LOL IRONIC). Left at about 5 to meet Deon to study at tamp bux and woah i was superrrrrrrr productive hahahaha almost finishing Hydro, cept for the last catchment mgmt part!! :) Studied till like 10pm and i'm just really happy that nothing's changed (yes i've said this countless times but i AM happy okay hahahaha).

--

Besides my daily postings what i really wanna post on now is about best friends :)
Blair and Serena from Gossipgirl!!! (OHMY HOW I MISS THAT SHOW -LESOBS-)
To me, i may have alot of people i view as good friends and close friends, but i guess there're only a few people / groups whom i regard as really my best friends / really really close friends. I don't expect them to view me in the same way but to me, these are the friends whom've transcended good and bad times / conflicts / events / etc. and i really am extremely grateful to have them in my life :) I'm truly an extraverted and extroverted person so i draw my energy from the people around me, and though at times i may feel lonely or alone or whatever, thinking about the good times and the fact that i've got these people with me - it makes me feel really blessed.

Much love to Eunice, Deon, Junzhong, Weishuen, Winne, Yanting, Weiting, Xiaomin, Shihming, Sining, Yuxuan, Jerome, Eric, Bryan, Clarice, Ruowei, Rachael, Huiyi, Vivienne, Olivia, Tiffany :)

   

 

Really grateful for each and every single one of them :) Okay to be honest i'm really grateful for everyone in my life, and regardless of whether you're a friend / someone i know exists / someone who doesn't like me / someone whom i've talked to, i really thank every one of you for making a difference in my life, be it in big or small ways. :)

 

Though i know some of the people above may not really view me in the same way i view them, i'd really like to appreciate each and every single one of em :)

 

I've long regarded Eunice as my best friend since Sec 3 when we ended up in the same class again, after Galen. Growing closer but nevertheless having some conflicts here and there, we were two people of rather different personalities that slowly became close :) I really miss having someone (like her) being around as a companion for events / projects / recesses and all, but i'm grateful that we're still close; and thank you for trusting me :)

 

As for Deon, it started out as a really random friendship, us becoming friends through Youth Day concert and through Weishuen. Talked and texted and i quickly realized how seemingly similar we were in the way we viewed things and the way we treated friends. He slowly grew into one of the closest and most trusted people in my life and through all the random studying / trips home / phone calls and all, he became my best friend, and one of the people that i know i'd cherish for as long as this friendship lasts :)

 

Weishuen has been there for me regardless of whether i treated him well or viewed him as a best friend. Haha to be honest i'm quite ashamed of myself when it comes to this, cause i knew at one point in time, I kind of neglected this friendship with him. We're both ESFPs hahah similarities galore :) And really, though he may seem like some joker or aloof person and all, he's actually really considerate, kind and i'm really glad to have him as a best friend all these years :) Our friendship may have had its highs and lows, but it lasted throughout all these and i'm just truly thankful for it. I'm glad to know that he views me as a best friend too, after all this while :)

 

It came as a shock to me when Junzhong actually got into Dunman High and into DHSChoir. I knew him since Y3 cause of Weishuen (he's weishuen's cousin) and never in my life would i have expected him to be in the same school and same cca. But the most random but amazing thing happened as well - he became one of my best friends :) Through all the talking / eating / confiding etc, it was kinda cool how we became from "people who know each other" to really close friends.. Extremely unexpected for me too, but i guess we really trust each other and all :)

 

Winne's a really good friend to me :) Throughout Y3 and Y4, though we had our disagreements at the start due to IDMI, our interests in LIVERPOOL (muahahah YNWA) and complementing personalities made us much closer over the months and the year :) Hahaha she's one person i wouldn't really feel awkward around even if there were to be silences or anything - and i believe that that's an important thing in any friendship!

 

Ah, my lovely bunch of Galen dears :) Yanting, Weiting, Xiaomin, Shihming, Sining and Yuxuan are 6 of the most awkward, wacky, fun and endearing people i know in my life, and though i may not be personally and equally close to all of them, i'm truly happy to have them in my life. This friendship's grown and sustained over the course of this 5 years and i'm just extremely happy that i've got these bunch of wackos to be awkward around and be fun with :) The birthday celebrations really bonded us much more over this year and i'm just...happy :) Really :)

 

Jerome's been one who makes me feel like a very cherished friend HAHA. Imo we both trust each other quite alot and i'm just glad to know that we'd be there for each other if we ever have no one else to confide in or anything HAHAHA we'll always spill the beans. Really hoping that he'd shine in VJ and that he and J would last long lalala. He deserves alot more than he's getting now.

 

This particular friendship of mine has brought me to my extremely low moments haha. I still remember Bryan as the little kiddo who resembled a chipmunk back in Mt Sinai days as Year Ones :) As time passed he grew and his temper grew too (i know best, H A H A. -__-). Though our friendship was a really rocky one with loads of angst from his side and all, he's a friend who's been there to give me the most frank and outright opinions, making me reflect on some of the things i do and say.. He may have his tempers but as a close friend, he's a keeper haha so i'm really glad to have him in my life too :) Just hoping we'll see more of the better days than the bad ones in future LOL.

 

To be honest i don't know why Eric's name popped up into my head hahahaha. I guess, in many ways, though our thinking is really quite different, we complement each other cause we get to see the different perspectives and views of some issues and things in our life. He's been there as a motivator and a caring friend, and tbh i'm guilty of somewhat neglecting this friendship haha. We've known each other since Y3 through (yet again) really random meetings HAHA. He's been a good confidante as i have been to him (IF YOU'RE READING THIS, DON'T DENY HAHAHA) and i'm glad i got to know him and i'm thankful for him being there for me for many things :)

 

Haha, last but definitely not least, i've got my 6 adorable choirgirl's who've brightened up my life in many many ways :) Though we're not as close anymore cause we don't get to go out as often this year (hint hint we need to go out after EOYs/ Promos/ As), they've been a really fun bunch to be with, never failing to make me laugh and brighten my day with their epicness and bimboness (for some) :) Hoping this would be lasting cause i really cherish them :)

 

:)

 

The list of people i'm grateful to have in my life is really non-exhaustive, but i guess these are the people who made a great impact in my life.. well, at least in the more recent years. I may not be the best person around to befriend, but i've gotta say that i'm doing my best and i'd mean what i say - i'd do my upmost best to be there for everyone as long as they approach me or whatever hahaha :) Over the years and experiences, i've truly learnt not to judge, not to bitch, and not to complain too much over a person or event - cause at the end of the day, even if some people break the form of trust or betray one another in the friendship, as long as we stay true to them and to ourselves, i really believe that everything will turn out fine :) People may not have a very good impression of me / may not like some of the things i do but yeah, i'm just giving it my all to stay true to my beliefs and hoping that those people who judge me (before even knowing me) would get to know the "true" me and start to change their perceptions to better ones. I can't please the whole world, but it ain't stopping me from trying. Afterall, people in my life would affect me one way or another, so why not bring be the first to show kindness? Kindness begets kindness, right? :)

 

Hahahah it's been a long post but i feel really relieved all of a sudden. If you've read till here, thank you and i really appreciate you for whoever you may be :) So yeap, it's been a long day and i'm looking forward to another productive mugging session at my house later HAHA. Goodnight, sweet dreams; may we all find better days, and may the world be a better place! OH, POET ME. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OKAY BYE, :D





Better Days / Goo Goo Dolls

And you ask me what I want this year

And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

 

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

 

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

 

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

 

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

 

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

--

 

Currently loving this song, it's so soulful :) GGD songs are really really underrated ohman.

But anyway it's really apt now that we're all just looking for better days :) But we must also always remember that better days and moments exist so very often in our lives, and that we take many many many things for granted - and we shouldn't.

I believe the better days will come soon. Real soon. :)

 

John 15:13 (ESV)
"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."



Today was.. eventful, i guess. Hahaha. Went for tuition as usual, then headed to Bras Basar w Eunice to photocopy my GP notes cuz she wanted it and to get whiteboard markers haha :) Was subsequently supposed to head to lazyporker JZ's house to study but i decided against it haha. Headed to tampz instead but Bux had no seats (Saw nata!!) and CBTL was too dark for my liking. Headed to Barcook in hope get some Liu Shar buns for lunch and i watched the last 4 of it fly away right there and then when i was next in queue :( But okay it made me try the mashed potato ones and OHMY IT'S GOOD. Totally buying those next time ahahahahah. Saw Chingee at Carl's too, the whole tamp is infested with people i know LOL.

Was on the way home and i saw Irene, Ruoting, Yiksheng, Yajun and Mark selling the iCare project tumblers.. They had about 200 to sell ohmy :/ And had to reduce the price to 3 for $10 / 1 for $5... So yeah i bought 3 lol lol. Stayed to help out too, and i realise that the crowd at Tamp isn't exactly charitable sigh :/ Managed to pull some customers in through the Polaroid and through walking around :)

Oh and there were these B&J mascots walking around with the promotion of their new "Maple Tree Hugger" flavour :) FREE ICECREAM HAHAHA it was quite funny cause we just had to answer a question / questions to get it. This promoter asked me "Is it true that our new product is 'Maple Tree Hugger'?" and i stupidly replied false.. Then she told me "are you sure, it's just there, you may wanna reconsider.." HAHAHAHA. It was quite epic. Got my free icecream and a photo with the mascots though!

So yeah, today's experience just reminded me of how much i love helping others and contributing / giving in any way i could. Moreover it gave me a greater sense of conviction in what i wanna do in future :) Tying in with my ideal job of a teacher / coach, i realised i really wanna teach in schools like Northlight / disabled schools or something :) It's these people who truly need help and i don't think i'll enjoy teaching in an overly competitive environment, given how much i'm already suffering in it.. So yeah today was absolutely fulfilling with this session and realisation :)

Reached home and was rather unproductive (ugh) till i started on the Geog project.. And i'll be straight about it - i was really upset about how i was treated and ignored in almost the whole proj. Like as though i was inferior and my contributions didn't matter. Idk, maybe they were busy or maybe my input and stuff were really rubbish, but being knowingly ignored was just upsetting, really. I admit i wasn't a good group member in the last project but since i already made my point that i wanted to change and i DID show it in actions in this current proj, so idk, is it really very hard to reply? :( I'm glad i had Ry in the project though, at least there was someone i could consult for opinions and stuff. I just hope i didn't do anything wrong again. And i'm just hoping everyone can be frank about things :( This really makes me grateful for my PW group ohmy i love you people.

Yeah that sums up my day. Gonna go for part of the choir masterclass tomorrow before joining weishuen at the MRL to study haha. Oh and we're watching Step Up Rev tmr too!!!!! CAN'T WAIT woohoo. Kay goodnight world :) May this world be a better and less complicated place!

Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them.
But like they say, the higher the expectation, the bigger the disappointment too.

To be really honest, i'm happy that we can still be normal and everything around each other. I'm happy that you replied my tweet. I'm happy that we can still talk to each other and i'm happy that things aren't awkward in any way. I'm happy that i know i can count on your (provided i take the initiative to tell you whats wrong - which i won't, in this period of time). But what i'm not all that happy about is the fact that i feel as though being my best friend is something to be ashamed of, something that only i believe in. Argh whatever.

I trust many people. I can trust anyone, despite how much they may have judged or hurt or talked bad about me. Maybe it's a bad thing, but distrusting someone is hard work and it can get emotionally traumatizing. Ironic thing that despite telling everyone what's going on in my life and everything, i get judged and the rest of those mysterious people who hold grudges and plot behind others' backs get spawned and whatever.

Point is, even though i trust many people, i still have a few groups of people i hold more dear. Like my very close friends and best friends. Or then again, maybe it's only me who feels that way and they don't view me as i view them. Whatever it is, these people that i hold dear may or may not "give back" or reciprocate, and i shouldn't expect anything, should i? Expectations are just gonna kill me cause different people have different obligations and definitions of what a good / best friend means to them so yeah i really shouldn't have any expectations of how i deserve to be treated. Talking to Jz got me thinking about alot of stuff and i'm thankful for him to remind me on some of the things i ought to consider.

Just really weary of constantly overthinking and overanalysing things. But truth is, everyone wants to be acknowledged, everyone wants to have someone that treasures them (and shows it), everyone wants to feel important in one way or another. I guess i have to let go of my thoughts and considerations and continue on with my ultimate goal of helping others and not bothering about how other's judge / view / insult me. They'll understand and get to know me one day. And i'm just going to do good and be true to myself and others. No regrets.