But i'm not.
Technically, I was. I was so frightened upon receiving the notification to check my mail for ANU's offer, thinking i'd not get in for even the single degree one since my grades were really not quite impressive. And then I received this acceptance letter. And for the first time in many years, I felt as though my efforts paid off. As though things weren't as bleak and hopeless as it seemed to be for a very long time. I was in shock, even, cuz they offered me not just a conditional offer, but one for a double degree in two degrees i'm really passionate about.
My first response? To tell one of two of the most important people in the world of course. I iMessaged this photo to my mom and called her. Her response? Not a tinge of joy or surprise in her voice. I whatsapped this to the family group. And my dad goes "I'd be delighted if NUS or NTU sent this to you".
Is it really that difficult to firstly feel at least a little joyful and happy that I've actually been accepted to a good university? For pete's sake, it's 27th in the world. Best in Australia. And this doesn't deserve any recognition?
Moreover, I know my grandpa hasn't had the best impression of me when it came to studies. So "stupid and reckless" me went to tell my grandpa about it and what did I get? A scornful look and him saying "must be because you cannot get into local university". I was so disappointed, and yet motivated to show him that I do have the ability and aptitude to do so.
And then my mom comes home and rants at me for being rash and now having to explain to my grandparents on why they even let me apply for ANU. And silly me though I won't have to cry and feel upset over something during this period.
What. More. Do. You. Want. From. Me.
I won't let this bring me down. Even if I get accepted into any university, I'd strive to go with good results and my head held high. Because I know I can do it.
But I can't help but think to myself: will it ever be enough?
