Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them.
But like they say, the higher the expectation, the bigger the disappointment too.

To be really honest, i'm happy that we can still be normal and everything around each other. I'm happy that you replied my tweet. I'm happy that we can still talk to each other and i'm happy that things aren't awkward in any way. I'm happy that i know i can count on your (provided i take the initiative to tell you whats wrong - which i won't, in this period of time). But what i'm not all that happy about is the fact that i feel as though being my best friend is something to be ashamed of, something that only i believe in. Argh whatever.

I trust many people. I can trust anyone, despite how much they may have judged or hurt or talked bad about me. Maybe it's a bad thing, but distrusting someone is hard work and it can get emotionally traumatizing. Ironic thing that despite telling everyone what's going on in my life and everything, i get judged and the rest of those mysterious people who hold grudges and plot behind others' backs get spawned and whatever.

Point is, even though i trust many people, i still have a few groups of people i hold more dear. Like my very close friends and best friends. Or then again, maybe it's only me who feels that way and they don't view me as i view them. Whatever it is, these people that i hold dear may or may not "give back" or reciprocate, and i shouldn't expect anything, should i? Expectations are just gonna kill me cause different people have different obligations and definitions of what a good / best friend means to them so yeah i really shouldn't have any expectations of how i deserve to be treated. Talking to Jz got me thinking about alot of stuff and i'm thankful for him to remind me on some of the things i ought to consider.

Just really weary of constantly overthinking and overanalysing things. But truth is, everyone wants to be acknowledged, everyone wants to have someone that treasures them (and shows it), everyone wants to feel important in one way or another. I guess i have to let go of my thoughts and considerations and continue on with my ultimate goal of helping others and not bothering about how other's judge / view / insult me. They'll understand and get to know me one day. And i'm just going to do good and be true to myself and others. No regrets.