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Down to the single digits and i'm more stressed that i'm not stressed.

Study.
Read.
Flip pages.
Write.
Pulls hair.
Continue to study.
Daze. Haze. Maze.

It's become a droning and mundane process and to be honest I can't really remember the content anymore (especially for geog, i.e. i'm screwed) so i'm just writing essays after essays hoping some miracle would happen.

What a dedicated and talented humanities student I am.

Ironic how my most feared and detested subject of math has now become my solace when I go crazy with the content involved in my other subjects. And that i'm more secure for it than any other subject (other than GP, I suppose)

Study.
Read.
Flip pages.
Write.
Pulls hair.
Continue to study.
Daze. Haze. Maze.

Started looking into uni apps and being as realistic as possible, applying to places who would hopefully accept me with my imperfections and inadequacy. It's become a dilemma for me on whether I should continue to pursue and hope for an education in Yale-NUS. Idealistically, of course, and they would see me for the person I am and the passion I have and accept me. Realistically? Um, no. More than 11,400 applicants last year and what, 157 students got accepted? That's apparently even more difficult (percentage wise) than Harvard since Harvard has an acceptance percentage of 5.8%. When that piece of information dawned upon me my hopes and dreams of entering my dream school and my dream liberal arts education just went *poof*, hurray.

Study.
Read.
Flip pages.
Write.
Pulls hair.
Continue to study.
Daze. Haze. Maze.

So I started applying to other universities in hope for a place that would take me in (aw how upsetting). I've learnt to dream big but stay grounded and realistic too. It's only gonna hurt if I continue sticking my head in the clouds. So... Group of 8 in Aussie, and perhaps, Durham University in the UK? Not to mention Dartmouth College, the college I adored since quite awhile ago because of it's campus and courses and structure. (But then again, I only just found out yesterday that it was part of the Ivy League colleges. Yay. -disgruntled-)

Study.
Read.
Flip pages.
Write.
Pulls hair.
Continue to study.
Daze. Haze. Maze.

I hope everyone's lives will turn out good or at least the way they hope it would. It's getting immensely terrifying and I'm starting to lose direction by diversifying my choices so much.

And it's getting horrifying because "9" hasn't been registered into my mind.
But then again it's my register number.
(Oh, ha ha Nicole. Ha ha ha.)