And when you're gone /
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok /
I miss you

Just find it quite sad that you seemingly don't care anymore. That you don't even bother to talk to me unless i ask you questions or whatever. That this friendship is obviously one sided cause i'm the one remembering you exist. It's like, hello? Remember me? We used to talk, a lot.

It bothers me that it could've been my fault that we became from best friends to mere hi-bye friends or sometimes even strangers. Maybe i shouldn't have distanced myself and my problems for your exams but i just couldn't let myself be a burden to anyone. You told me you understood. But where are you now? Must i really always be the one starting conversations, asking about your life and what's going on? It's truly becoming one sided and you're letting it be, isn't it?

People always say "friends come, friends go". I don't completely believe in that. I believe that every good friendship or relation with anyone should be cherished and should be fought for. I believe that every single person is worth the effort, that every single person is worth investing time and feelings for. So for my side, i'd never give up on anyone; but it does take both hands to clap.

I just hope we won't really be reduced to strangers, again.
I don't need to be a priority, but i hope i could at least be an option that you remember.

On a side note, i'm really happy with how things are turning out with R, (yes, hi if you're reading this; i'm blogging about you. BE HONOURED xx) and it's been a blessing to me. Though tbh it's not been easy to communicate much + i really don't want to burden him with my troubles and all seeing that camp is so taxing already + he's been really nice and idk what i did to deserve him + i still have my insecurities + i don't know what to do for him to alleviate whatever's in camp. Ah ok rambling again. But yeah you get my point. All in all i'm just so thankful.

Yep thats it from me, i think i've blogged enough these few days to overwhelm all of you with the nitty gritty details of my life. Goodbye for now and stay safe x

Tribute; A Man Like No Other

It's been 2 days, and i'm starting to feel the need to write (or type, in this case), to find peace and to find closure. This post is dedicated to one of the strongest and bravest person i've ever known, and i'm really hoping he's in a safer and painless place now.

Though i'd not had the fortune nor opportunity to be a good friend to him, he had always been in the vicinity, igniting laughters and joy in his former classes (Helea and Deja Vu), both of which had been just next to my former classes. He was truly a ray of sunshine, giving in his all for his friendships and being a true brother to many of the guys in our level. I've had only snippets of memories of him, but i guess the one that got etched the deepest was one during a badminton training that i sort of chanced upon. He was (and would probably always be) a source of motivation and support to his teammates, and he was an incredible sportsman in skill, in spirit and in determination.

We often lament and complain that life isn't fair, and it really isn't. Getting diagnosed with cancer in Year 4, the restrictions and pain being put onto his life must've been unbearable. Chemo and treatment disrupted his academics, his love for sports and he was seen less along the corridors. Yet, he held on to his unyielding, fighting spirit, and continued to give in his all despite everything. His determination and strength was truly respectable, from the start of it all.

I guess as time passes, we start to take things for granted, believing in the notion that "everything will be alright in the end". He was better, and though it was obvious that he struggled through the demons of the disease, he returned to school and entered Senior High with us, as a family. Seeing him back in school with his tired but contagious and genuine grin, i guess many of us took for granted and believed that he'd have conquered the illness. Belief was good, but seeing all the guilt and the regret from many of us, it struck me on how much we took for granted in life. My heart aches for his family and his closest friends, on the endless desires to say a proper goodbye, and on the fact that we all lost a friend - one whom left behind a true legacy.

So Ervin, here's to you. Here's to your strength, your courage, your sincerity. Here's to being a true man, a true hero who chose not to give up despite all that's been unfairly put in your path. And here's to your abbreviated but meaningful journey which had impacted us all. It's truly more than words could ever say... Thank you so much for showing us what it means to be a true warrior, a true fighter and a true man.

I truly hope that you're safe and rested, wherever you may be. You are loved, respected and dearly missed. May we meet again, someday, somehow.

Truly a blessing to all of us.
200495 - 180912, but remembered and cherished for eternity.

--

Ephesians 1:16 (ESV)
I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.

& to his family, his closest buddies and classmates; stay strong, and live well without regrets. May you all be blessed by him and the Angels with good health and happiness..