Thank you x

Dear you,

I don't know when you'll read this or if you'd even read it at all; but I guess I want to just let you know how thankful I am. I've grown up thinking that I'd probably always be the one who loved more, one who'd be chasing after guys to no avail and one only suited to be a guy's best friend and nothing more. And I believed it, till I got together with you.

I'm so thankful. Thankful for these 3+ months of care and concern. Thankful for having you around in my life. Thankful for your affection, your sincerity and your patience. Thankful for all the things you've done for me, be it big or small gestures and actions. Thankful for the relentless good morning and good night texts. Thankful, most of all, for your love.

My biggest regret would be breaking your heart. But like I told you, i'd rather break it now than to shred it later. You will heal, and you will learn to love again. And so will I. Just wanna let you know that you're not alone, and you never will be. I will always care and i'm sure the friends around you love and care for you loads too. Take care of yourself, alright?

This is hard for me too, trust me, its not easy when tears start coming down my face out of nowhere. But at the end of the day I have to be strong and I had to be strong (especially in front of you) because I know that this is what would be best for you. You'll find someone so much more deserving of your love and attention, for your perfection and purity in the true love that you give. 

You'll always have a place in my heart.

Love,

Me

I can't

"I can't love you. I can’t love you because you adore me too much. Every time I wish for you to stop flattering me, to stop agreeing with me on every little thing, to stop doing every completely nonsensical thing I ask of you, it makes me feel sick, ungrateful and mean. You’re wonderful for thinking I’m wonderful, but I can’t love you because you don’t love me for my flaws—you love me in spite of them. You don’t see me for what I am—the ugly, pungent parts of my guts. You can’t and don’t want to tear these parts out of me while I scream. I can’t love you because you won’t defy me, because you won’t fight me when I’m wrong. I can’t love you because you don’t stand eye to eye with me and challenge me, demand of me, to be a better person. I can’t love you because it’s too hard and I’m too busy. I’m so busy all the time. I keep trying to convince myself that you’re just not right for me but half the problem is I simply don’t have the time for you. I can’t love you because I’m scared. Because I’ve been broken hearted and I know the pain of losing something I love all too well. I don’t have another heartbreak in me, and sometimes when I look at you I imagine myself as a younger girl and I know I would have ridden into the sunset with you, had you asked, even if you were entirely wrong for me. I can’t love you because I’m so tired of love; its commitments and risks. I can’t love you because I don’t know if you’re worth the commitment or the risk and I’m not willing to find out the hard way, although I sincerely hope that one day I will be." - Thought Catalog

I can’t love you the way you love me, and sometimes I’m afraid that makes me a bad person.
I guess i do love you, but i'm just so confused as to what i'm supposed to do now.

Like entries on diaries,

To-dos on schedulers,

Photographs in albums

And the words sprawled across your favourite book

Like the wit in conversations,

Harmonies in songs,

Chords on a guitar

And those lyrics that haunt you

 

Like the breeze at sea,

Sunrise and sunsets,

Fjords and mountains

And walks on the beaches

 

Like electric currents,

City lights in the night,

Fireworks

And static that runs through your veins

 

That's what love should be.

Breathtaking, passionate, and yet,
Enduring.

 

/

 

 

Gratitude, reblogged

21st Dec 2012
"I also want to thank you for willing to listen to my non stop rambling haha few people can take the amount of words I and still be happy about it :) This friendship especially meant a lot to me"

31st Jan / 1st Feb 2013
"I have nothing, no riches and nothing to my name to make any girl proud. But i have the time to wait... For now I just want to give you the support you need and the support you have been denied by people who didn't treat you well enough."

2nd Feb 2013
"I like you because you care for even the smallest detail... And being doubtful about yourself is something even I have and that's why I want to be there for you and not let you doubt anymore... I don't mind you having guy best friends (I'm not that selfish to restrict you all to myself) and if you shut off, I will always be here for you, to the best of my ability I wil not let you carry your burden alone... And lastly I'm sure i want to be your boyfriend."

28 Feb 2013
(In response to http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/how-i-know-i-love-you/ which depicted your love so well hahaha)
"Haha might I add something?
I know i love you because I freak out at every little thing that comes at you, even a small bite from a bug or a simple flu. I just want to bring down all the medications and all the drinks or even the small little things that would make you smile and forget the illness."

-
For all that it’s worth, is it worth it? / Is it ever enough?

For all these words and more, for the daily "good morning" texts, for the sweet names you call me (princess, dear, sweetheart, sunshine, dear girl, silly girl), for the times of concern and fussing, for the times of tolerance toward my irrationality and bad moods, for acceptance of my insecurities, for the constant assurances, and most of all, for your unconditional love.

It's not easy for anyone to find who loves and cares for your well being more than anything else in the world. It's even harder to find someone who would remind them daily how much they love you and show it through actions, or through little words that may get you through the day. Most of all it's extremely difficult to find someone who respects and loves you for the person you are and not expecting anything in return.

So here i am, and though i feel really inadequate in saying this because my love could never match up or be comparable to yours, thank you, and i'm so glad i found you.

(Reblogged from our blog, and here's to many more happy moments!)

P.S. To all reading this (including you, mom), I'm neither naive nor blinded by love. I choose to believe in the best of anyone despite knowing alternative scenarios and possibilities and I just am grateful for what I have, here and now. And that's it. Know that I'm rational and I really do know what I'm doing.