Chin up, beautiful

生活不容易过，忙忙碌碌挫折很多。

但是不管生活上发生多少不好的事情都是为了要让你变成一个更加坚强的人。

所以，不要放弃生活，不要放弃梦想，也不要小看自己的工作小看自己。

让自己的生命去影响别人的生命让整个世界变得更加的美好！

还有，不要错过任何一个拥抱，不要吝啬说声 “加油”!
 

This has never been more applicable; the road to As has only a short runway of 97 days left and the pressure's definitely on. I've really hit rock bottom this time and time's running out - but this ain't gonna stop me from giving it my all till the end. Whatever it is, I've endured and gone through six years of this, and i'm not going to let it go to waste nor let anyone down, anymore. 

But before I go on my long blog hiatus for my exam preparation in these 97 days, I just really wanna take a pause and dedicate this post to all of you out there.

_____________________________________________________________________

 

Dear you,

It's been such an arduous and stressful journey, hasn't it? All the hard work, all the sacrifices and all the time spent. I hope things have been going well for you.

If you're having good grades and balancing life well, I'm truly happy for you - keep it up, and keep going because you know you can do it :) Shine bright, and don't forget to reward yourself.

On the other hand, if you're feeling down, feeling useless, worthless, or even on the brink of giving up; I just want to let you know that you're not alone, and that it's okay to feel this way at times. You could be breaking down, feeling as though things aren't gonna get better, or even not finding any hope or meaning anymore, but just know this: you are loved, and you are better and stronger than you think. No matter how much it hurts now, just know that you'll get through, and that one day you'll look back and realise that this has made your life more fulfilling and meaningful.

Find something to fight for - be it yourself, your family, your friends, your teachers, or even just for the sake of life - but remember never to lose yourself in the process. Who you are will shine from within; it'll shine brighter than any certificate or testimonial that you may get or have gotten. This may sound a little cliché, but truthfully, what defines us is not our failures nor our brokenness. It's the way you pick yourself up despite how hard things are, the little acts of kindness or kind words you've bestowed upon people, and it's so much more than any bad feelings about yourself or about life that you may have now.

It's a tough period, but it won't be forever. You've already gone through these many years in your life, and this ain't going to break you. But even if it does, it's not permanent. Know that you have the capability to mend yourself and pick yourself up - with a little help from the people in your life, of course - so start, because it's up to you to find beauty in the ugliest of days, and because

 

You matter.

And remember, even if you feel as though the world has turned their back on you, you're definitely not alone, and not unimportant. The feeling of loneliness comes from within you, and no one is ever truly alone in this world. All you have to do is to step out again, or let people come back into your life. (Pst, by the way, just to let you know; no matter who you are, or whether we've met - just know that I care, I empathise, and that you've got a friend in me!)

Whatever may come your way, jiayou, and hang in there! You're beautiful, you're amazing, and you're worth so much more than you think. Chin up, cause you deserve it!

Love,

Me

(Haven't been blogging for awhile and i'm just too lazy so here's Life in Bullet Points: Edition One)

 

FEBRUARY

1. ♡

2. Aunt came back from Copenhagen for CNY

3. Geography milestone check which was surprisingly okay

4. Dad's company dinner

5. Skipped school for the first time

6. Kiara's birthday celebration

7. Reunion dinner

8. Annual CNY visiting / praying / hosting

9. Shihming's bday celeb + teoheng

10. Vday (and an actual one, for the first time)

11. Grandma's b'day dinner

12. Visit J's grandma at the hospital

13. Choir TYF

14. J's porridge

15. Chenxun's wedding

16. Choir SYF soundcheck

17. Long reflective blog post

 

MARCH

1. First month

2. Show Luo's concert with Sis

3. Release of 2012 A Level results

4. Coach training

5. Nuggets & H2H with Malcolm

6. SHSC polling day

7. HC'13 briefing

8. NTU Open House with J

9. School wide excursion (evacuation exercise)

10. H1 GP / GSC Mar CT

11. NUS Open House with Mom

12. Paintball with family

13. Visiting Junior Camp

 

 -

 

Alright so that kinda sums up my two months other than the many tuition sessions and mugging i'd been doing across the two months. So glad and grateful that there's so much more to life than studying (at least for now). My grades are taking a turn for the better; geog has been maintaining at a C and i passed econs for the first time -cheers- :)

 

Things with J has been really good too; so thankful that what we have is built on mutual trust, honesty, communication, care, consideration and acceptance. Getting so much love and support daily from this boy and i'm just thoroughly blessed.

 

I guess that's it for now, the inertia to start posting photos/ continue updating is so strong that i'm just gonna end off by saying that you could probably find my photo based life updates via Instagram so yeah, goodnight and sleep tight everyone, till next time! x

Life has endless possibilities. If you choose to see everything as a whole and not focus on the possibility you have chosen, how can you start to be confident about the road that you chose? When you have found and decided what you want to do, then move on and have faith in your choice. When you think that everything will go right, then it will.

And perhaps this is something I really need to think about in all aspects of my life.

Gratitude, reblogged

21st Dec 2012
"I also want to thank you for willing to listen to my non stop rambling haha few people can take the amount of words I and still be happy about it :) This friendship especially meant a lot to me"

31st Jan / 1st Feb 2013
"I have nothing, no riches and nothing to my name to make any girl proud. But i have the time to wait... For now I just want to give you the support you need and the support you have been denied by people who didn't treat you well enough."

2nd Feb 2013
"I like you because you care for even the smallest detail... And being doubtful about yourself is something even I have and that's why I want to be there for you and not let you doubt anymore... I don't mind you having guy best friends (I'm not that selfish to restrict you all to myself) and if you shut off, I will always be here for you, to the best of my ability I wil not let you carry your burden alone... And lastly I'm sure i want to be your boyfriend."

28 Feb 2013
(In response to http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/how-i-know-i-love-you/ which depicted your love so well hahaha)
"Haha might I add something?
I know i love you because I freak out at every little thing that comes at you, even a small bite from a bug or a simple flu. I just want to bring down all the medications and all the drinks or even the small little things that would make you smile and forget the illness."

-
For all that it’s worth, is it worth it? / Is it ever enough?

For all these words and more, for the daily "good morning" texts, for the sweet names you call me (princess, dear, sweetheart, sunshine, dear girl, silly girl), for the times of concern and fussing, for the times of tolerance toward my irrationality and bad moods, for acceptance of my insecurities, for the constant assurances, and most of all, for your unconditional love.

It's not easy for anyone to find who loves and cares for your well being more than anything else in the world. It's even harder to find someone who would remind them daily how much they love you and show it through actions, or through little words that may get you through the day. Most of all it's extremely difficult to find someone who respects and loves you for the person you are and not expecting anything in return.

So here i am, and though i feel really inadequate in saying this because my love could never match up or be comparable to yours, thank you, and i'm so glad i found you.

(Reblogged from our blog, and here's to many more happy moments!)

P.S. To all reading this (including you, mom), I'm neither naive nor blinded by love. I choose to believe in the best of anyone despite knowing alternative scenarios and possibilities and I just am grateful for what I have, here and now. And that's it. Know that I'm rational and I really do know what I'm doing.

January

(By the way, the December post is at the bottom, updated it and set it on a proper dec date so the chronology wouldn't be messed up hah)

HELLO WORLD

Thanks to the readers who stayed with me till the very end. Haven't been updating much at all but i guess it's time to do so since February arrived hahaha. January just flew past like this and tbh i'm a little afraid i guess. As the clock ticks it's only gonna get nearer to 'A's and up till now i'm not getting any good grades to speak of. Just quite vexing and i just don't know when my studies is gonna see light ugh.

-

Choir Camp 2013

First few days of Jan was spent with my dear dhschoir (and with the juniors, yaaaay) :) 3rd and 4th were two days of station games, singing and just being with the big family i love so much. First day was Ms Tham's practice and station games with Group 1 (Celina Jarrod Nicholas Cheryl Maranda Audrey Yvonne Daniel Jiaying) thereafter!

It was loads of fun and I think Marcus and I finally aren't awkward or anything anymore? Which makes me immensely glad cuz no matter what, he was one of the people closest to me in one point of time.. Koped water guns and buckets + we were all shooting each other and it was really lots of fun HAHA.

Second day was even more eventful starting with Choir-lympics in the morning! Ran for the 100m (thats me on lane 1 in the first photo looking spastic) and 4x400m race LOL I almost died. But it was a good variation to the normal PT and lots of fun too!! (Yongxin looks really funny in the second photo HAHAHA haven't seen him run competitively since pri sch man!! And chester flying effortlessly as usual)

Practice was also quite fun with my darling Altos as we learnt the new songs and the set piece (which i must say is insane). Games thereafter and Group 1 won all the games throughout hahhaah proud of my group man xoxo. Ended up as first runner up and the day ended. Really proud of the comm for a well planned and executed  camp that really made us all fulfilled in just two days :)

I LOVE DHSCHOIR

(forever and ever)

 

-

Subsequent days were busy with tuition and studying and dinners at Changi Village / Jun Shin Jung for Da Gu's bday!! Played zjmm with cousins and it was epic hahahaha.

 

FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL

School finally started on the 7th and it was the Senior High Inauguration where my little morning assembly plan was executed beautifully by Peter (Chaos) and Yulian :) Hahaha it was really good to see the awesome responses and hype right after the little stunt and i'm so glad publicity comm's efforts payed off!! The next day was house inauguration (BENNUUUUU) and i'm glad the year 5s were quite hyper!! Especially the guys hahaha :) Set up the final posters and banners till like 9pm for the next day hahaa it was really awesome and everything was set up beautifully -grins-

 

 

ORIENTATION DAYS

Day 1; Orientation day one was mad. Mad sweltering heat + mad schedule that made me run from school to Katong Park a few times hah. But it was fun lah and the cheering really hyped up the atmosphere hehe love orientation spirit :) Station games was jeopardized by the rain though. Lent my umbrella to some junior so i ended up drenched (but satisfied with my own good gesture anyway) HAHAHA.

Vally and I at station games rahrah-ing!! And don't you think Raphael x2 looks like Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum HHAHAHAHA DAMN FUNNY.
-

Headed to Conrad with Yongxin to meet the rest of the choir girls + shuling and hazel for Clarice's bday dinner! Was supposed to be a surprise haha and we coordinated for quite long i must say :) Went to find flowers for Clarice with Yongxin and the funny part was that we wanted to head into Goldheart to look for a necklace or sth for her shared present hahaha can you imagine. Quite funny seriously HAHAA. The dinner went well and i feel so bad haha Clarice's family treated us to the dinner ohman :/ But it was a really nice night (other than the fact that Russ and I kinda quarrelled but okay shan't go into details). Will always love these choir girls to bits and pieces!!! 

 

Day 2; Lol day 2 on a whole was one of the most exhausting days in my existence. Started off with mass dance and cheer sessions before i left the whole "congregation" to help Peter and Jianchong with the DOTA2 prep. Carried buckets after buckets of water 100m across the field to the central area where the mudpool was gonna be. Thing was that the tarp at the very bottom wasn't waterproof due to wear and tear and the water we constantly poured in was just infiltrating into the ground and creating mini mud pools AROUND the actual mudpool. Changed strategy again and again till we finally got the water level up bit by bit haha. Think i carried almost 60 buckets of water in total omg. Missed Siege of The Empire (which i heard was the most violent in DHS history) but i guess it was time well spent with Rachel Val Jianchong and Peter!! We were really the saikang warriors of the afternoon HAHAHA.

 

So after lunch we decided that we had absolutely enough of wasting energy on filling water first hah so we started to add in the mud.. and it worked! Praise the Lord omg it worked!!! Continued to empty the bags and bags of mud and it worked wonders hahah though we only had one single water hose. Absolutely fun at that moment though my arms were already aching since 1030AM cuz of all the buckets of water uggggggh. Prepped till about 3 and DOTA2 was gonna commence!!!

DOTA2 was kinda mad i swear. Was supposed to be a Mud Regulator but there weren't enough chairs so i ended up being the Mud Golem instead (YAAAAAY). Tackled all the girls i could find (especially the juniors whom i knew HAHA) and it was really crazy with all the people scratching and barging through. Ended up with 3 long scratch marks on my back and bruises on my arms and legs LOL. But it was really crazy yet fun all at the same time.

Ah. Then came the crazy part of cleaning up lol. Filled up buckets and buckets of mud and I swear it had about 20-30kg on them...and well, i could miraculously carry it so i was thereafter named buffnic oh yay -_- whatever it is, i really stretched my physical tiredness to the limit and it expanded my threshold / comfort zone completely lol washed the tarp, carried all those buckets of mud + canteen chairs + tables. The teachers were amazing though, especially Ms Christine Chen haha she actually rolled up her pants and sleeves and joined us in digging up the mud without qualms!! The rest of the teachers followed thereafter and it was just so nice to feel the love and help that everyone was rendering :) Even kaiseng deon and jyhhowe stayed back to help clean up!! Hahaha crazy night man. Was one of the last to leave the washing up zone and i was seriously a wreck after it all. But it was worth it i guess, helping out and giving my 110% hahaha quite fulfilling. Headed home to bathe and crash for the night with a mere 3 hours of sleep T_T

 

Day 3; Heh finale day!! Had all the rehearsals for opening / closing and march in and it was really really fun hahaha. Had a good time jamming in the grandstand cuz we had the portable soundsystem and i was just singing and blasting music into the open LOL. It was then phototaking when all the SH students finally gathered!!

Heh my beloved class.. though they really weren't participative but i know we're still one of the better Y6 classes in terms of bondedness i guess :) Grateful for my 6C12 haha!!

Mmm so it went on to the final dance and cheer session and i lost about 60% of my voice alr HAHAA WHOOPS. Buffet dinner and the juniors spontaneously leading cheer wars in the canteen was amazing, it really was super heartening to see them having so much fun and all :)

 

Closing ceremony went smoothly though it was in the hall hahaha. Campfire was finally allowed to be held outside at its original venue of the track!! Was super hyped and I absolutely adored our Bennu Tribal Dance hahah all the OGLs / HC / SC just went all hyper and it was truly amazing hahaha :) Arthur and Regina were amazing hosts as well; it wouldn't have been so so well run if not for the two of them. So proud of Arthur especially hahah he's matured and grown so much :') Oh and he was really super sweet haha!! Cuz during circle storytelling the juniors came up with some really suggestive story about him and Yurong with the ending of "... and they lived happily ever after". After repeating it for the audience to hear properly he ended off with "I only wish for the last part to be true" OH MY GOD seriously how sweet can he get hahaha.

Campfire ended off on an extremely high note where we all just started to sing our level songs and jump together to it omg. Really amazing omg it was really as though we were right back At The Beginning in Year 1 all over again :') It was crazy man and towards the end we all linked shoulders and formed a huge idkwhatshape as a SH family :)

 

Well we all know what comes next hahaha this clean up was crazy as well with all the untying of ropes and carrying of canteen tables and chairs back + washing the remainder or tarp and all the other nonsense. The teachers were extremely sweet though, buying a huge stack of pizzas and boxes of bottled drinks :) Debrief ended on a high note and it just felt so good to know that we really did it. All of us comms and SCs and HCs and OGLs, we really made this orientation a spectacular one that juniors trended orientation hangover tweets / teachers were commending and praising us / Dr Foo enjoying especially the campfire :)

Xoxo, UNITAS 2013 :)

-

Okay well after all the fun and crazy times, school inevitably starts!! Lectures and tutorials started coming in and the feeling that we were really Y6 already dawned on me hah. So yep 14 Jan marked the first day of official lessons!! But there was also another important thing that happened that day haha..

CHRISTINA'S FAREWELL / SEND OFF

Sighpie Christina was leaving for Aussie to continue her studies there haha. Really miss her and her fangirl/ ramble moments in class. And also when she cared and when we fought the sleep worm tgt ahahaha. Anyway it was quite a huge entourage consisting of 4E / 6C36 and her CO people :) Sigh i've missed 4E loads :(

Really gonna miss her hah I promise to go visit her on one of my trips to Aussie soon :)

-

The rest of January's been really hectic but fulfilling i guess. Lectures and tutorials flew past day by day and 6C12 really is becoming more bonded haha especially when Gideon unleashes his inner hyperbunny that really makes everyone v amused. Oh and the fact that Ryan's been the poor soul who gets targeted at any chance possible HAHAHA it's okay man we all still love him hah including GAHLINDA HAHAHA. Okay sorry inside joke!! Studied tgt with Eric / Weishuen / Eunice / 6C12 peeps on many occasions hah start of #muggerlife!!!

 

(Though.. Russ and I really hit some rough patches over the 2-3 weeks. It's not been easy and i truly got hurt so i'm at a loss of what to do or say now? Like really, i don't feel anything for him anymore. And i feel both guilty and confused at that. Whatever it is i'm crossing fingers that things would be settled soon and that we still could be friends no matter what lol. He'd been an amazing friend and companion to me and i wouldn't wanna lose that.)

 

Hmm okay er OH YES i went for TA OJT on one of the Saturdays!! Thanks to Jasper whom i've grown increasingly close too hahaha that 大傻瓜. Anyway, I hadn't been back to Hoechiang for awhile and it truly felt good to be home. The preview went alright I made new friends!! Andrew (another TA) who's extremely humourous and the young girl who asked me lots of questions about the camps haha :) Hm then the next day was just tuitions as usual, with the additional Bishan econs cuz of some make up lesson we had to do. Met up with Jasper for dinner and arcade thereafter hahaha and my bball shooting really worsened alot hah.. But it also shows that i'm less angst to have to shoot hoops all the time hehe yay :) 

 

So.. 31st Jan was quite an eventful day i guess. First official outdoor Mass PE and my stamina improved greatly (but idk why LOL). Didn't even realise that we had ran 4km, which meant that i didn't stop for the first 2.1km.. which is MIRACULOUS seeing my horrible stamina that i had over the past years.. But it was fulfilling nevertheless hehehe :)

Had my last piano lesson with Ms Winnie before my break before A levels. Moreover the time slots were crazy and I really wouldn't have been able to concentrate at 645PM for piano lesson after the long and dreadful Thursdays.

 

And lastly, the night of 31st / start of 1st Feb marked the start of something new hah. Won't go into details but i'm sure things will turn out just the way it should. And i'm crossing fingers that it'd be well :) So thankful though. :)

 

It's been a really really long post and it's kinda liberating to finally find the time and drive to blog my thoughts out hahaha. I'd end here now; and i hope February would be amazing too.

 

"Be the one who changes the negative mindsets of those who feel defeated. Be the one to prove that failure wouldn't last forever. And be the one to motivate the spirit of the weakened, damned disbelievers, and let them know that they're not alone." This is my drive, my motivation and my promise. I'll do well for As and show to the whole world that years of failing over and over again should never be the reason to ever give up :)

 

Goodnight world; take care and till next time! x

 

 

December /1

HELLO FOLKS ^_^

Back to post! Say hi to tubby ha he's accompanying me on my sleepless night gaaaah.

 

So yep, December's been a really great month on a whole with activities packed to the brim almost every single day! So yep first off was Zoo trip with the coaches on the 19th!! Not the group of coaches i'm close to or anything but i'm still glad that i got this chance to hang out with themm and get to know them better!

-

20th was spent with choir :) Had practice before Ms Fang's farewell party and i'm really sad to see such a good teacher leave DHS omg :( All the good teachers are seriously leaving grrr. Anyway group shot of the night; love choir to bits and pieces though i must say i really do miss JH choir..

-

Next up is 21st Dec 2012 ha! New achievement added to resume: Survived "apocalypse".

But those few moments of uncertainty that it may have really happened really made me think on whether i'd leave without regrets. And it made me even more thankful than i already was to the people who stayed in my life and supported me through. It made me thankful for the fact that i have a complete family who loves and cares for me to bits (though they seriously fuss around too much at times). It also made me thankful for all the opportunities in my life that came by, be it bad or good; the bad ones made me stronger and more resilient and the good opportunities allowed me to feel joy. So extremely blessed.

-

23rd Dec was spent celebrating early christmas with the lovelies at my house!!

 Had a really great time with them hahaha with the usual camwhores / laughing at random stuff

/ life-updating and all. Thankful for these girls in my Dunman High life,

it'd definitely be different without them!!

-

Spent the first part of Christmas eve with Russ! Watched Les Miz together though we went in only when Anne Hathaway was singing "I Dreamed A Dream" grr that late pig. But anyway he brought Guffy along!!!! And the second photo's my christmas present hah poem + pen :)

Oh and this one's not really christmas eve but i posted letters for the first time in a long time!! :)

Our usual feast that we always can't finish LOL

Christmas look this year!!! Looks really pretty right HAH

Cousins at Christmas :) With Amy's new boyf Sean of course :):)

MOM FINALLY GOT ME MY LONG AWAITED POLAROID OMG AND ITS WHITE

Christmas Eve with family, as usual. it's been 17 amazing years and i'm so thankful for this family who celebrates bdays and festives together since forever :)

-

Yeap so that kinda sums up my Dec (excluding the Shanghai trip)

I'd post on Shanghai trip but i'm just really lazy. And it's actually 1st of Feb now though imma set this post's date as the day i drafted it on. So okay bye HA!!